Forming meaningful connections in adulthood can present more challenges than one might expect. Nevertheless, with appropriate assistance, access to valuable resources, and proper guidance, you can embark on the journey of building enduring friendships that contribute to your personal growth and well-being.

• Reconnect with old friends

Reconnecting with old friends requires effort and sincerity. Approach the process with genuine interest, respect for their time and space, and a willingness to invest in rebuilding the connection.  I met my best friend nearly 10 years ago when I was 24. We were coworkers who never thought to spend time together outside of work, until a year after we both left the company. Let’s face it: making new friends is about growth. I grew up in a small town where I’ve known my best friends since we were four years old. So, when it came time to go away to college and make new friends, it was a challenge for me. In the beginning, I admit to having a fixed mindset. I used to think, “I have great old friends at home. Do I need to make new ones?” 

• Get in a growth mindset 

Admit it or not, the process of forming new friendships is closely tied to personal growth. Having spent my early years in a close-knit small town, my longstanding friendships date back to our four-year-old selves. Transitioning to college life presented a formidable challenge when it came to making new connections. Initially, I found myself harboring a fixed mindset, questioning the necessity of forging new bonds when I already had strong ties from home. Reflecting on my 18-year-old self.

I am grateful for the growth and evolution I’ve undergone. To cultivate new friendships, it’s essential to adopt a growth mindset, viewing these connections as opportunities for personal development. Recognizing that new friends can broaden your perspectives, contribute to your personal growth, and present challenges that foster positive change is crucial.

• Commit to making an effort 

Cultivating friendships isn’t a spontaneous process; it demands purposeful effort. Unlike the simplicity implied by a snap of the fingers, establishing connections involves intentionality and stepping beyond the boundaries of comfort. Upon relocating to Colorado, I repeatedly encountered a neighbor with shared interests. Our initial conversations, primarily centered around the mailbox or during dog walks, remained surface level. Yet, through these brief exchanges, I discovered her affinity for hiking, running, yoga, and socializing. Taking a leap, I invited her to a yoga event at a local brewery, despite the discomfort of pushing past my comfort zone. Intuitively, I sensed a potential connection. Today, she stands as one of my closest friends in Colorado. Consider ways to commit to the deliberate effort required in initiating new friendships.

• Get curious and be willing to try new things

Embarking on the journey of making new friends in adulthood often involves embracing novel experiences, a task that can be quite daunting. Personally, my inclination was always towards running, but my comfort zone predominantly consisted of familiar pavement routes and road races, as evident in my Strava history. However, my perspective underwent a significant shift upon befriending someone in Colorado who was an avid trail runner. The invitation to join her for a trail run initially triggered hesitations – concerns about keeping pace, potential limitations, and uncertainty about my affinity for this new terrain. Despite the initial fear, I decided to take the plunge. Nowadays, most weekends find me trail running alongside this friend. This experience opened up an unexplored dimension of running for me, an activity that I now enjoy as a shared pursuit with a close friend.

• Strike up conversation at workout classes

Fitness classes provide not only a space for physical activity but also a social environment where connections can naturally flourish. Numerous individuals share stories of forging friendships at their local Pilates studio or striking up conversations with treadmill neighbors during Barry’s Bootcamp sessions. However, it’s not uncommon for some to feel apprehensive about initiating conversations with fellow yoga enthusiasts. What’s certain is that approaching someone in such a setting is generally well-received. The beauty lies in the fact that you already have a ready-made conversation starter. You can inquire about their preferred instructor, discuss other classes they enjoy, or simply offer a compliment – a foolproof icebreaker. Complimenting their stylish new leggings, for instance, not only boosts their mood but also lays the foundation for potential post-class smoothie dates. In no time, you could find yourself sharing fitness journeys and forming connections in this dynamic social scene.

• Leverage your current social network for introductions 

Upon my initial relocation to San Francisco, I found myself with just one acquaintance beyond my work colleagues, lacking any local friends in the Bay Area. Fortunately, my college friends played a crucial role in expanding my social circle. They introduced me to individuals among their connections who had also made the move to San Francisco. Before long, we formed a cohesive group of friends, all linked through mutual acquaintances. Exploring your existing social network can unveil potential connections, as it did for me. More often than not, there’s a friend of a friend who shares a similar situation, making it easier to forge new connections and navigate the challenges of starting afresh in a new city.

• Join a sports league

In every significant urban center, a plethora of leagues and sports teams await your participation, offering an excellent avenue to forge new connections. Much like local groups, workout classes, and volunteer opportunities, joining these leagues provides an environment teeming with individuals who share a common interest. Whether you dust off your softball glove or invest in a new pickleball paddle, you can embark on this adventure with an existing friend or venture out solo. Personally, I find that exploring places alone is among the most enjoyable ways to meet new people. It presents an opportunity for organic interactions and fosters connections with those who share a passion for the same sports and activities.

• Tap into your community 

The influence of community should not be underestimated when it comes to fostering meaningful adult friendships. Within your local community, numerous avenues and resources exist to support the cultivation of strong connections.

Consider attending events hosted by local coffee shops or breweries, providing opportunities for casual interactions in a relaxed setting. Alternatively, explore joining a gym or participating in various workout classes, creating a shared space for fitness enthusiasts to connect. Volunteering, involvement in a local church, or joining a social club are additional avenues worth exploring.

Take the time to research and familiarize yourself with the offerings in your community. Undoubtedly, there’s likely something of interest that can not only captivate your attention but also serve as a catalyst for building robust and lasting friendships.

• Maintain a positive outlook 

Building friendships in adulthood is undoubtedly challenging and requires dedicated effort and investment. At times, the process can be disheartening, leading to feelings of defeat, particularly when life’s demands become overwhelming. It’s understandable if you contemplate easing off the effort, especially when other aspects of your life seem burdensome.

However, amidst the challenges, it’s crucial to strive for a positive outlook. Making a subtle shift in perspective can serve as a reminder of your priorities and what holds significance to you. Embracing a constructive mindset can be a source of motivation, encouraging you to persist in your pursuit of meaningful connections despite the obstacles encountered along the way.

•  Connect with friends of friends

However, my network of friends in New York proved to be a valuable asset, as many of them had acquaintances in Chicago. With no hesitation, I reached out and sought their assistance, recognizing that making friends doesn’t demand the title of the most outgoing person in the room. Instead, it necessitates a willingness to step outside your comfort zone and embrace new experiences.

It’s essential to strike a balance between enjoying self-care nights and alone time while remaining open to saying “yes” more frequently, especially in the context of a new city. This approach proved successful when I applied it during a two-month stint in Los Angeles, where, once again, I had no existing connections. By seeking recommendations from friends about people they knew in the area, I not only expanded my social circle but also formed a lasting friendship with someone I still regularly keep in touch with. People generally delight in connecting with friends, and the process carries significantly less pressure than setting up a romantic date.

• Be vulnerable